by Esther and Jerry Hicks: Jerry: Is there the “one perfect person” for us to be in a relationship with?
And if there is, do you have any recommendations of how to find that person? Also, what is your opinion about what we call a “Soul Mate”? In other words, is there an ideal Spiritual mate for each of us?
Abraham: Throughout your lifetime, and because of your interaction with others, you have been identifying the characteristics in others that are most appealing to you; and you have, incrementally, been sending out rockets of desires about those desirable traits.
In other words, bit by bit, you have created (in your own Vibrational Reality) your version of the perfect mate for you. But before you can find your perfect mate, you must be a Vibrational Match to that desire, which means, you must consistently be a Vibrational Match to what you want.
If you are feeling lonely or frustrated about not yet meeting your mate, you are not a match to your Vibrational Reality, and so your rendezvous is postponed. When you are envious of others who have wonderful relationships, you are not a match to your Vibrational Reality, and so your rendezvous is postponed. If you are remembering past unpleasing relationships and using those as your justifcation for wanting or needing a better one, you are a match to what you do not want, and what you do want is postponed. But if you can bring yourself to a place of consistently feeling good, even in the absence of the relationship that you desire, the rendezvous is certain. In fact, it is Law.
The “perfection” of that partner means that your partner matches the things that your life has caused you to ask for, but the finding of that partner hinges upon you becoming a match to those desires first.
You cannot find your perfect mate from your awareness that your mate is missing from your life. You have to find a way to no longer offer the Vibration of a “missing partner.”
In the same way that from the sifting through your now physical experience, you are continually launching new desires — you also launched desires about your physical experience from your Non-Physical vantage point before your birth. And sometimes those desires, or intentions, did include such specifc things as creative traits or talents, specifc things you wanted to do, or specifc people you intended to co-create with.
A “Soul Mate” would be such a person. But we usually downplay the idea of “Soul Mates” in the way that so many people want to address them because, really, every person with whom you share your planet is a sort of soul mate. And the feeling of Connection that people are looking for, the exhilaration of being with someone with their hearts soaring, really is not a function of the person you are with, but instead it is a function of your own Connection with You.
We would prefer to think of Soul Mate as you mating, or consciously Connecting, with your own Soul or Source or Inner Being or Self. When you, in your physical moment and time, are offering a similar Vibration to that of your Inner Being, you have indeed found your Soul Mate. And if you consistently do that, the people who will gravitate to you will be enormously satisfying in nature.
Think about what you want in a relationship and why you want it. Look for those around you who are experiencing good relationships, and feel appreciation for them. Make lists of the positive aspects of those you have spent time with. . . . In fact, one of the fastest ways to make your way to a wonderful relationship is to fnd any subject that consistently feels good, and focus on that even if it has nothing to do with relationships.
When you remember that you have already Vibrationally created your perfect relationship, and that it is all queued up for you in your Vibrational Reality, and that your work now is to just not offer an opposing Vibration about it — and that it has to come to you — then it must come quickly. The number one thing that prevents people from rendezvousing immediately with their perfect mate is simply their awareness and discomfort about not yet finding one.
Remind yourself, often, that you have done the work, you have clarifed your desire, you have shot off the rockets of desire, Source is tending to those combined wishes, the Law of Attraction has organized the circumstances and events through which the rendezvous will occur, and now your work (your only work) is to stop doing that thing you do that prevents your meeting. When you are “doing that thing you do,” you always, without exception, feel negative emotion.
So when you are lonely, or ornery, or impatient, or discouraged, or jealous — you are delaying the meeting. If we were standing in your physical shoes, we would remind ourselves that we have already done the work of specifying and asking. We would accept that the creation is already accomplished. It is done! And then we would think about it only for the sake of the pleasure of the thought.
When the moment of thought is blissful and satisfying — without the contradictory energy of trying to make something that has not yet happened, happen — your Vibration is pure and powerful, and your creation can easily fow without hindrance.