by Ram Dass: The first kind of love we are familiar with is the bio-chemical love, the, ‘Let’s make love…’
The second kind is romantic love, ‘Mary loves John and John loves Mary.’ This second kind of love, the romantic love and the need for love, has a polarity, which is hate and which involves jealousy and possessiveness. This kind of love is based on the fact that you don’t yet know who you are. And that the other person involved allows you to meet your true self by turning you on to the place inside yourself where you are love. So you say “he and I” or “she and I are in love,” meaning we connect each other to the place in ourselves where we are love. This is needful love, because you need your connection, and if he or she splits, you can’t find the place in you, where you are love. So you get frightened that you’re going to lose your connection.
The third quality of love or level of love, is conscious love, where you have found that place in yourself and you become it. And you ‘are’ a statement of that love. And your every action is not consciously designed to assert that you love everyone, and everyone love you, because you ‘are’ love.
Then, there is no more need for anyone to love you. All you experience is, a feeling of present flow with everyone in the universe. You are in love with the universe. You are not actively loving, but you are ‘in’ love; you exist in the space of conscious love, which is Christ love. That’s what this whole game is about.
There’s no neurosis or need in that. For you to become that, you have to give up the stuff inside of you that keeps you from being it. And the major thing is your self-unworthiness. Most of your personality was built upon your unworthiness. Just let it go. Every time something comes up that makes you feel unworthy, or where you assert your unworthiness, ‘Here Ma, you eat it. I don’t want it.’ Give it up. Give it up to your Guru; give it up to your guide, ‘Whoever you are Guru, take it.’
Just try, try to be right here, open, honest, straight, take everything that happens to you and use it in relation to your awakening to God, right here. And when you walk out into the night, take in the feelings in your body, the lights, the walking on the cement, whatever is around you take it all in, in love. Don’t worship the feelings and don’t run from them. Acknowledge them, allow them, they are all a part of the dance with God. Just play with God, but play in such a way that you get home, don’t play in such a way that you get lost.
You get home by remembering; you keep remembering and remembering, again and again you remember. But try not to be so busy remembering that you fall on your face. Strive for the balance of remembering and living and caring. Truth, caring, looking up, looking down. Help all of the beings around you and help yourself.
And how do you help yourself and the beings around you? By feeding them, caring about them and protesting for them. By living your life in a conscious way, in every social role you have and remembering to look up. Because the looking up is what ultimately frees all beings from suffering. Ultimately, you will be able to look at suffering, disease, old age and death and be able to say, ‘Yes, I understand the flow and process and here I am.’ Until you are that clear, that conscious and free, every experience in life is an exercise for getting home, that’s what it’s all about.