by Mark Sorensen: The power of human connection…
I needed to provide something in return for the privilege of living on the reservation, so I taught in a local elementary school. I had become a successful teacher in Illinois and knew how to do that job well. Besides, I loved being around the children; treating them with respect and being respected by them in return. Soon, the family of the school’s lead bus driver took me under their wing and invited me to live in their traditional Navajo dwelling — a hogan — located near the mountains in their sheep camp.
It was a glorious time of discovery and I revelled in it. I felt so blessed to be surrounded by such awesome, austere natural beauty and living in a home of such an ancient design. I still live within this awesome beauty — within the four sacred mountains of the Navajo people — and I still feel incredibly blessed. This story, however, is not just about how I fell in love with the depth of the Navajo people and the cultural values they have developed over the centuries; it is a story about the system of Navajo Peacemaking and how it could be a gift to the world.
Absorbed into K’e
The couple who took me in during that first year treated me as part of their family and began calling me ‘son.’ Since they had nine children, all younger than me, I became the older brother and learned a great deal over the years about the concept of extended relationship called ‘K’e.’ Although I had been raised in Illinois by a loving and close-knit family, I was completely surprised that this Navajo family, living in the high desert of the Navajo Nation and speaking a language I could barely understand, would so completely take in an urban American white guy. I was not only adopted into the nuclear family, I was told to introduce myself in Navajo as part of their clan.
As I hesitatingly took on the role they offered me, it began to dawn on me that I could, through the clan system, have an unlimited number of mothers, fathers, sisters, or grandfathers. And my newfound relatives were not only human beings. I was taught and shown that I was also related to the fire and the air, the earth and the water, and all of nature in fact. Indeed, I learned that I am always surrounded by relatives, and it still gives me a feeling of incredible support.
Within a few years, I was hired as a principal in the first tribally controlled school in the country. I kept learning more about the Navajo culture and language and found it endlessly fascinating because my friends and the people in my community lived it. I was struck by how resilient the people were, in spite of the genocide and demeaning educational practices imposed on them by the U.S. government. Of course, there were many obvious problems: alcohol abuse, domestic violence, low levels of education, to name a few. Nevertheless, the people were generally cheerful and generous with one another.
Some 15 years later, I had fully felt the power of K’e — of interrelatedness and kinship — and I had seen many examples of how to be caring and supportive. I was also very fortunate to begin working with a Navajo community leader, Thomas Walker, who had been raised by generations of Peacemakers, and he brought that training to his work with the school.
Traditional Peacemaking is a system of resolving conflicts that Navajos used long before contact with Europeans. It is built upon K’e, and the fundamental idea is to restore relationships and harmony, rather than to assign guilt and punishment. Even though the Peacemaking system of justice and healing is foreign to mainstream American culture, and the antagonistic nature of the American courts, the tribe has, since the 1980s, made Peacemaking part of the tribal courts. Most intriguing for me was that I was able to learn how the very concept that brought me into my tribal family, was also used to make peace in the community.
The Process of Peacemaking
While Navajo Peacemaking shares a number of processes with what is currently called restorative justice, it also has some distinct differences. Here are the seven steps of the process that Thomas Walker brought to our school:
A request for spiritual assistance is made. This is often thought of as offering a prayer for the best possible outcome for everyone, but in the Navajo view, it could also be thought of as aligning ourselves with Hozho – the state of harmony and beauty. Thus it is not considered as being of a particular religion, but more accurately, affirming the best of who we are as human beings.
Everyone present (and this can include relatives and concerned others) identifies how they are connected or related to one another. For Navajos, this includes identifying one’s clan and establishing connections with the clans of others.
The Peacemaker describes the rules of behavior in the session: One person speaks at a time; participants refrain from personal put-downs and focus on talking about one’s own feelings, rather than judgments about the other person.
The participants describe the problem that caused the conflict. The Peacemaker often asks the person who feels most wronged to go first.
The Peacemaker guides the discussion to identify areas of common ground, such as everyone’s desire to be treated with respect.
Specific things are agreed on for each party to do in order to renew the relationship. These are written down and repeated for all participants to agree to. Heartfelt apologies are often exchanged at this time.
A statement of gratitude and appreciation is made for relationships being repaired and for moving forward with hope.
Because Peacemaking is uniquely and proudly Navajo, Thomas and I got the idea that it would be an excellent way to build character and resilience among our Navajo youth — a way that would help sustain them in the face of discrimination and injustice. We also thought it was a great skill that young people could use to settle their own conflicts, so we set about teaching both teachers and students how to conduct Peacemaking sessions. As we ventured down this path, however, we realized to our sadness that the values of K’e were no longer being practised in all Navajo homes. In order for our youth to learn Peacemaking effectively, they first had to learn the underlying values: Respect, Relationship (K’e), Responsibility, and Reverence: what we came to call the 4 R’s.
My wife, Kate, and Thomas and I then became determined to build a new school serving Navajo youth that would be founded on Peacemaking principles and values. How we established our off-grid, solar-powered school on land that had once been a junkyard is a story in itself. What is important here is that we built the STAR (Service To All Relations) School on principles consistent with Navajo Peacemaking: Respect, Relationship, Responsibility, and Reverence. We determined that everyone in the school, from the bus drivers to the smallest child, would do our best every day to practise these values. We even developed a rubric for everyone to use to check their own behavior and how they were expressing these values.
Over the years we’ve learned that the better our staff and students at the STAR School practice these core values, the fewer incidents that require the full-blown traditional Peacemaking. However, there have been situations that demanded the full procedure. In one such incident, a middle school student and his cousin stole a school van and drove it over 100 miles away, where it was vandalized. We had to report the incident to the sheriff, but when I talked to him about the case, he pointed to a thick pile of papers on his desk and said it would probably take a month for him to get to this one. Meanwhile, our student would be in limbo. So I offered to try Peacemaking, and the sheriff agreed: If Peacemaking worked, the sheriff would drop the case. If it didn’t, the student would return to the dominant culture’s system of justice.
I presented the Navajo youth and his family with these options, and they agreed to try the Peacemaking approach. Thomas, our resident Peacemaker, agreed to run the session. As each person shared how they were related, the young man’s stepfather said that he had once stolen a school van and ended up serving six months in jail. The stepfather broke down in tears as he spoke about how awful that experience had been. Then the young man revealed that he took the van because his stepfather had used some very harsh words and told him to leave — and that he was trying to reach his grandmother’s place. As the Peacemaking moved into the stage of repairing the relationships, the young man agreed to do 100 hours of service for the school and asked his stepfather to treat him with more kindness and respect. The stepfather, in tears, said that the young man was one of their most responsible children, and he would spend more quality time with him. Checking on the situation a few months later, we discovered that the stepfather and son were setting aside time each week to play ball together and the whole family had become more united in general.
Navajo Peacemaking is not focused on determining who is at fault. It is focused on bringing those who have conflicts back into harmonious relationships. In other words, it is more about healing than punishment. Successful Peacemaking generally involves heartfelt regret and apologies — and the truth is, not everyone is willing to get to that point. Some people feel so wronged and harmed that they are not willing to forgive. Some perpetrators are hard-hearted and cannot genuinely express their remorse. However, our experience is that the vast majority of youth are willing and able to take these courageous steps, and for them — and for all of us — traditional Navajo Peacemaking offers a process that can yield remarkable healing.